I got to exchange text messages with my friend, Nicole today. ~ When I submitted my communication coaching report this morning at the end of my shift, I noticed the 7 in 27 and I remembered that it was her birthday on the 7th of this month. So I sent her a long message. She didn't reply till after about an hour later. I didn't realize till we were already exchaning texts that she didn't recognize my number because it's different from what she has on record.

What's funny though was that she did figure out that it was me. Her first reply was, "X??? Ü" I guess it's how I addressed her (Sweetie) and the way I phrased my message. Long time friends ... what can I say?! Ü

The last time we got to hook up was in December of last year - a week before Christmas. That was with another coffee buddy, CharlieBear! We had coffee at Figaro then we we transferred to Gloria Jean's Coffees ~ go figure ~ ~ Coffee People! Then when Charlie felt hunger - the hypoglycemic man - we had an early dinner at the Meditteranean restaurant, which was in the same mall (Robinson's Galeria). That day was the same day she got a message from her supervisor that she has been awarded the Power Trainer of the year. Wow!!! I've always believed in that girl! Ü And I know she's got a long way to go. Oh well, she asked me if I am free to meet up with her two Saturdays from today - so we just might see each other again ... after what seems to be eons. HaHa! I'm looking forward to that day. I can't wait!

Speaking of waiting ...

Hmmm ... I've been sending text messages to B the whole morning since I left work but he doesn't seem to be receiving my messages.

I just hope that he's safe. I've been waiting for hours now. I still want to wait, however, I plan to go to work earlier tonight to do more audits so that I can coach my agents during my shift.

Good Night, World!!!

mîXéD ëmÖTîòn§

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I am both happy & sad right now.

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B & I are having some issues. Or I guess, it's just me. It affects me still, though. I carried it on my shoulders the whole shift. Today's the kind of day when I welcome a heavy load at work. That way I'd be able to focus on work instead of the bad feeling I have about being sort of rejected by my B. Oh well, I know that this will end soon.

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My Liaison Operations Manager talked with me and Lovella at the end of my shift today and she said that she has spoken with the Operations Director about our status as being In-Team Communication Coaches. Specifically, about making us Core Comm Coaches instead of just In-Team. In turn, the Operations Director had escalated the issue to SBC.
Since the report that we submit to Operations are also forwarded to Accenture and SBC, they know how we, as communication coaches have impacted the business. Well, proof of that is based on our monthly success rate. They said that they do recognize our hard work and appreciate the support that we have rendered all these months.
Now, that the other 4 comm coaches have already been recognized as core coaches, SBC decided to make my position, as well as Love's, a core position as well.

åHëM ... nôT §ö qÜìçK ! ! !

We still need to wait for our supervisor and the Communication Coaching Manager to process our transfer papers to make our movement formal. Hmm ... But that would just be for formality ... what d'ya think?!

..:: "tHeRe aRe mÖménT§ iN lïFe wHën ¥öü miSs sÖmEönE sô mÜçH tHaT ¥öÜ jüsT wanT tö piCk tHéM ôüT ƒRöM ÿôüR dRêàM§ åNd Hûg tHèM ƒÖr rÉåL." ::..

It's Monday once again ... I'll be going to work again tonight! I'll be starting on my daily audits again ... I wonder if there's a new attrition list tonight.

It's 9:50 in the morning as I type. I'm waiting for my B to come online. He was having problems connecting to the network earlier.

This is all for now ... later ...

Last night was a good shift ~ i was able to get my work done by the end of the shift. What does that mean?! It means that I didn't have to take work home! I think I like this new setup better than the one we had before.

Well, just to give you a little background ... What I used to do these past several months was to convert all .vox files to .wav files then send them to myself through email. (When I say "all" that means all possible calls for the agents on my coaching list.) Then I access them from my home PC and work on them here at home. But when I work here at home, I end up just sleeping, surfing the internet or chatting with B. And since submission of our report is on a weekly basis and should be in by 11:59PM on Mondays (of the following week), I put off work till weekend and work on them for about 15 - 20 hours straight. So not healthy! HaH! I know!

But now, since submission of our report is on a daily basis, I have no choice but to work on it while I am AT WORK. Our target for each day is about 7, on the average. It is do-able, however, I end up getting my butt stuck in my seat at work for abour 7 hours straight. But the good part about this setup is that I don't bring work home anymore. This just means undivided time with my B and more rest for me.

This past week, I should say, is the first week in the past several months that I didn't have to work at home. Instead, just spend it with the family.

Today, "Harry and the Half Blood Prince" [Hary Potter Book 6] officially came out in the bookstores. Powerbooks at MegaMall opened at 7 in the morning due to the book launch. I didn't have plans of getting a copy, but, I had thought of getting a specific book [entitled, "Urge" by Gabrielle Morrisey].

Jaymee and i went to Powerbooks and looked for the book that I was interested in buying. Awww ... they didn't have it. The lady told me that they could order the book for me but would arrive after 4 - 5 weeks. I said, "No way!" That's a long wait and I can do without the book anyway.

So, Jaymee and I went to the bookstore at about 7:15. I had found three books and you'd see 2 of them attached to this entry. The inset on each book is it's front cover.

Argh .. I'm so sleepy .. I'll come back tomorrow.

I just want to share the collage I made from some of our pictures I then had on my PC.

I didn't go to work last night. What else can make me absent myself from work ~ ~ MIGRAINE! I could hardly open my left eye. I really had wanted to go to work because I had a lot to accomplish but what can I do?

I decided to stay home since I would not be able to work anyway. I'm sure I'd just be spending the whole shift at the clinic.

Nonetheless, let me just share my excitement with you ...

For the past several weeks, B and I had been checking out laptops. We had checked out used ones. We saw a few, but, later on decided that we'd just wait until we were ready for a brand new laptop.

After that, I had checked out a few digital cameras. Hah! Something that I could afford at the moment. I saw one that I had wanted to buy already. It's one of those Kodak Easyshare DigiCams.

My B said, "Yes!" But! ... But! ... But! ... He asked me which was more important for me now. He had me choose between the camera and the laptop. Well, practically speaking, it's the laptop that's really more important to me right now. I would be able to use if for work. I won't have to be stuck here in my room to finish the things I need to accomplish for work. As for taking pictures, I still have my phonecam. And I can still do with that. Therefore, I chose the laptop. (That was the other day.)

Before we ended our nightly chat over Y!M, he showed me some specs and prices of different laptop brands. I was enthralled by the prices. He ended up showing me 5 laptops. Until I finally ranked them and ended up choosing the best among the 5.

Yesterday ... you won't believe this ... Yesterday ... after work, he dropped Phil off at his place then he went to CompUSA. OMG!!! He picked up the laptop for me. But, we have an agreement. I will pay for the gizmo at cost. I have 7 months to complete the payment. That's when he's coming back here ... 7 months from now. I promised him that I'd be depositing money into his/OUR account each month until I complete the payment.

You'll see the photo of the gizmo at the top.

***

My B had just read the entry above and he insists that I edit the part where I said "I'd be depositing money into HIS account" ... he said it's OURS! OURS! OURS! ... Therefore, it's now OURS!!! :-D

It's 11:15 in the morning! Another shift has ended.

My room's a mess!!! HaH! When was it ever tidy! I know! I know!

B said it's 90 deg in Fremont today. But when he got back to San Francisco, the temp was lower. Whew! I'm glad it was ... or else his neck would start itching again.

As usual, I've been browsing through our pictures when he was here last May-June (2005) . The one on this entry is one of my favorite pictures. This was taken at the Residence Inn in Tagaytay, on the 3rd of June. We had very few pictures together since there were only the two of us. Good thing there was this family that passed by and I asked B to have the guy take our picture.

This part where we had our picture taken was right by the stairway going down to the lioness den. To the right of the staircase that takes you about 5 meters down is a huge aviary. There were not as much animals at the MiniZoo during the time we were there, though. And eiow :-p the place stunk, too.

B and I didn't go down! HaHaHa! :-D HaHaHa! I told him to go down to the lioness den for exercise, since he hadn't gotten to really work out while he was here. Then I told him I would be waiting for him at the other side. But he didn't agree to it ... Hee Hee :-D ... He said he's only going to do it if I'd go down there with him! HaH! Therefore, we both didn't go!

I miss my B! I still need to wait for another 7 - 9 months before he comes back here again.

... oh no ...

i wasn't able to finish my journal yesterday cause i was so sleepy already.

My Baby and I on a van going to the Batangas Pier. We took a boat from the pier to go to the Puerto Galera Island in Mindoro Occidental. By the time this picture was taken, I had just finished eating my McD's Egg McMuffin and Fries.

We stayed there for three days and two nights. The food was good, The room that we rented was just fine because there was a/c and a television. However, it was the bathroom that got me pissed. The sun didn't shine too bright for me as well. It even drizzled a few times while we were there.

I was awake the whole night last night. Well, at least I tried my best to stay awake. I went on a one day vacation from work but I still had to sit down in front of my computer to work on my report.

I thought B was going to give me a call during his lunch break but he probably was busy the entire day. Which of course I totally understand. I just wonder how he's been. I didn't receive a message from him the whole time he was at work. I just thought to myself, like the famous saying goes, "No news is good news!" :) By now, though, I have already exchanged a few with him.

I look through the window and see that it's so gloomy out there. It reminds me of the text messaged I received from B on my cellphone this morning when I had just started having my breakfast. He said he was at the hospital .. got there at about 3 in the afternoon. He said his mom had to take his dad to the hospital again.

I feel so helpless every time this happens. I wish I could be there with him to at least hold his hand when he gets sad. I want to look straight in his brown eyes and tell him that everything will be just fine and that I will always be by his side to comfort him and to make him smile.

My B has made a great impact in my life. He has managed to unconsciously make me change the way I look at most things around me now. He has somehow indirectly controlled the impatient and stubborn side of me. Hmm ... not that I'm completely patient and super flexible now. I still have my mood swings but definitely not as much as I did a few years back.

Sometimes, I joke around with friends and tell them that they should take care in what they ask for from God, because they just might get exactly what they pray for. I had been through difficult relationships in my life until I decided not to be involved with anyone for as long as I could avoid it. Later on, I felt that I needed a companion. Someone who would tell me I'm not alone. Someone who would understand me even when I'm in my crankiest mood. Someone who'd appreciate the things I put effort to. Someone who would not tell me that things are okay when it's really not okay. I needed someone to make me smile again. The one who'd touch my heart and make me feel special, needed and loved. Despite of this, I was worried. I didn't want to fall in love again and be dependent on this person too much like what happened to me in the past. I thought I'd be fine with someone who I won't see everday, so that I won't get used to having him around me all the time.

I prayed to God. I told him to send someone to me. When I was still active in serving the Church through CFC, I learned that whenever we talk to God, whether it be times when we thank him for the blessings we receive from Him or the times when we request something from Him, we have to be very specific.

Thus, I prayed:

"Dear Lord, as You can see from wherever You are, I'm going through trying moments in my life again. I understand that you don't call me just by any name but you call me by my first name. Therefore, let me be specific, as well. Lord God, I've become very lonely in my life and I come to You right now to ask for a favor. I need a companion here on earth, who would always remind me that I'm not alone. Someone I can depend on in a reasonable way. Father God, I need someone who would bring happiness in mylife. Someone who's understanding, considerate, respectful (of me and my family), loving and truthful. Father God, I need someone I could completely trust since I don't want to go through what I've been through before. Please send me someone who is true to himself and who will love me honestly as I intend to share with him the right amount of love. Most importantly, Father God, you know how I am when it comes to relationships ... the presence of my partner is very important to me. However, I tend to depend too much on him especially when he's always with me. Yet, I can't accept a long distance relationship, You know that! :-) Therfore Father God, please send me someone with the traits I mentioned earlier but please make sure that we won't be spending too much time together. Teach me to handle a relationship with someone who I won't be able to spend too much time together with. I'm fine with just exchanging text messages with him and/or having chats on the phone. Thank You, Father God! I know how much you love me and how important I am to You. I am confident that you won't fail me."

I kept on waiting, but the ones I encountered weren't the ones I asked to be with. Something was always just not right! Until one night in Novermber of `03, from out of the blue, I was introduced to someone who I never expected to be introduced to. He's no celebrity. To me, that night, he was an just an ordinary individual. I didn't think right away that there can be anything special about him. I just credited it back to my being able to blend in with people from different walks of life.

He lives in San Francisco, U.S.A. While I, here in Manila, Philippines. We started exchanging emails. Then we decided to meet on Yahoo! Messenger and AOL Instant Messenger. Later on, we started sending text messages through our mobile phone. As days went by, we began talking on the phone. There wasn't a day that we did not communicate with each other through any means available to us. I didn't want to fall in love with him because aside from the distance that keeps us apart, we both had to consider lots of other major factors that would make it difficult for our friendship to survive. Our connection is just simply beyond the ordinary. It's so amazing.

Neither of us could help it. We had to confess to each other. We had to let each other know how we were starting to feel for one another. We both promised we would never talk about it again and just continue being friends. But, it kept coming back up to the surface. There was always reason to discuss it. Until such time we agreed that we were being unfair to each other and most importantly to ourselves with the way we were treating the situation. We wanted to hold back, but, the more we did, the more it hurt us.

We kept going on. But it had been tough. I don't even know where to start to tell you how difficult our situation has been treating us all this time. He never asked me to be his girlfriend, though, we kept on going knowing in our hearts that our relationship is more than just an ordinary boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. We're just counting the days from when we finally confessed about our deepest emotions toward each other. And to date, it's been 19 months already.

I am always reminded of that quote, "Be careful what you wish for, because it might just be granted!" I thought to myself, 'Yes, I asked for someone who's far from me but not this far!' HaHa!!! :-D

In May of `05, he came here to spend 3 weeks with me. Good timing ... his vacation hit my birthday. In my entire existence in this world, I could say that my last birthday was the most remarkable one. It beat my most memorable 17th birthday.

The part where we had to temporarily say goodbye to each other again was terrible. I felt like there was a cork remover stuck in my heart while someone was constantly twisting and turning it. I asked to leave before he did. I didn't want to see him walk away from me. It's just too painful.

Now, we're back to how we were before. Initilly, he said he'll be back in either March or April. But last week, when we talked on the phone, he said he might have put in enough hours to allow him to go on vacation by January or February. I don't know what going to happen. I guess we'd all just have to play it by ear.

Yikes, I never intended for this blog to be this long. This wasn't even the content I had thought of sharing. I had thought of introducing myself (quite formally). But I guess this is alright.

I'm ending here for now. I need to go back to work (taking work home, totally sucks!!!)

Please don't get tired of reading my blogs. I'm still trying to learn more about this site. I'm new here. This is actually my very first blog. I don't know how long it would be before I'd be able to sit down in front of my computer and do personal stuff again.

Later ...